How I Met Your Mother (And Various Other Family Members)
by Neliel Von Schweetz
Summary: When Sebastian's little sister shows up on the Phantomhive doorstep, Ciel and his servants' lives are turned upside down. Will Sebastian be able to handle both his young master and sister, or is he doomed to fail for the very first time?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N : Hello, and thank you for clicking on this! This is a collaboration with none other than Bgirlabby! I hope you like this, and the story is available on both of our accounts!**

**Happy reading~!  
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It was a fairly normal day.

Ciel liked fairly normal days. They were quiet, peaceful, and nothing out of the ordinary happened (besides the obvious mishaps that come from living with a demon butler and a gang of unruly servants, that is). So he was very relieved when the crisp autumn afternoon proved to be nothing more than a normal day.

Or so he thought.

It all began when the doorbell rang. It was a dreaded noise to Ciel. Nobody ever showed up out of the blue like this.

Nobody except Elizabeth.

"Answer it, Sebastian," he ordered through gritted teeth. The butler nodded obediently and made his way to the door. But he wasn't expecting what he saw.

Instead of an obnoxious blonde girl, standing on the doorstep was a petite figure clothed in a strapless black dress. Her raven hair was pulled up into two ponytails by silk red ribbons, and a matching ribbon laced around her waist. A crimson skull necklace adorned her neck. She smiled up at Sebastian, red eyes glinting with mischief underneath a Lolita hat. "It's been a long time, _brother_," she said in a voice like poison.

It was very rare that Sebastian showed any form of emotion. When he did it was quickly hidden and replaced with his usual stoic expression. But now was one of those instances where he was really and truly surprised. The girl smirked. "Surely you didn't forget me when you ran off with your Master? Speaking of, I want to meet him!" With that, she pushed past the stunned butler and dashed inside the mansion.

Ciel's first reaction was one of not only annoyance, but shock. The girl that was circling him and pulling curiously on his clothes bore a stunning resemblance to Sebastian. "My name is Edith," she introduced herself, grinning all the while. Ciel coughed and straightened the jacket that she had shifted during her 'inspection.' "Might I ask what exactly you're doing here?"

She rolled her eyes as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I've come for my brother!" she informed him, pointing at the butler, who was still standing in the doorway with a confused expression on his face. "S-Sebastian is your brother?" Ciel asked, wide-eyed. She nodded enthusiastically, ponytails bouncing. "Sebastian, so that's what you've named him! It's a beautiful name."

She suddenly slapped a hand to her forehead. "I almost forgot what I came to tell you!" Dashing back over to Sebastian, she smiled cheekily at him. "This year you're coming to our family reunion!"

Ciel stared in amazement. Demons had family reunions? He knew he shouldn't be surprised; Sebastian had already proved his kind were by no means normal. But the whole scenario was a lot to take in at once. "Sebastian," he said crossly. "How come you never told me you had a little sister?"

"You never asked, my lord."

His face was once again free of any emotion, but Ciel could almost see him smiling. "Well, I don't want you going to some stupid family reunion anyway." Sebastian smiled one of his fake-cheerfulness smiles, and turned to face Edith. "Well, that's that, I'm afraid." But she had no intention of letting him off the hook that easily. "You must go!" she insisted. "Somebody very important is going!"

"And who might that be?" Ciel snapped. "Another bloody demon? Perhaps it's your mother this time."

He was in no way serious, so he was caught completely off-guard when Edith nodded violently. "How did you know?" she giggled. "Our mother disappeared over a millennium ago, but now she's returned and will be attending the reunion!"

At this point both Ciel and Sebastian were ready to faint in disbelief.


	2. Chapter 2

"So you're serious, then?" Ciel asked suspiciously, fiddling with his tea cup. "This whole family reunion thing isn't some sort of sick joke?" Edith rolled her eyes. "We demons are very trustworthy," she smirked. The gleam in her eye seemingly betrayed any innocence, but Ciel was too curious about her tale to worry about that right now. "So what exactly happens at these reunions?" he questioned.

Edith's face brightened visibly. "It's very simple," she stated, bouncing up and down in her seat. "We just get together to talk and visit, and discuss our Masters! For those of us who have contracts, that is." Ciel still didn't believe her completely, but the nervous look on Sebastian's face suggested perhaps she was telling the truth.

"Now that our mother's back," Edith continued. "My brother, er, Sebastian, finally has a reason to go! He never liked these sort of things before, but I bet he's just _dying _to see her!" She shook her head sadly, and Ciel was sure he saw tears in her eyes. "But now it looks like he doesn't want to go."

"I apologize sincerely," Sebastian deadpanned. "But if my Master does not allow me to go, I simply cannot go."

Ciel nodded in agreement, and Edith's head dropped. At first he thought she was going to cry, but instead she looked into his eyes with a fiery determination. "I've made up my mind. I'm not leaving until you agree to let him go!" She smiled brightly, causing Ciel to scowl."I suppose you'll be staying here a while, then," he huffed.

Edith didn't look convinced. "We'll have a contest! Whoever breaks and give in first loses." Ciel sighed. "Fine. But you aren't going to win, so what does it matter?" He himself could be very competitive when he wanted to, so he didn't doubt his ability to win. It didn't matter if she was a demon. He was going to win no matter what.

Meanwhile, Sebastian was smiling inwardly. He had somewhat missed his sister's spunky personality over the years he was away, and seeing her and Ciel arguing like this was quite amusing. But there was a nagging feeling in the back of his mind. Edith couldn't possibly beat Ciel at a game like this...could she? He knew his young master was stubborn, but then again, so was Edith. It would certainly be interesting seeing how things turned out. He only hoped he wouldn't be forced into that family reunion...

"Sebastian." Ciel's voice snapped him out of his daze. "Get a room ready for Edith." The butler nodded and walked off. Edith was still grinning madly. "This is going to be _so _much fun!" she giggled. "I've never had a real contest with anybody before." Ciel rolled his eyes. "I wonder why," he muttered. He certainly couldn't see anybody as aggravating as her having many friends.

But they weren't friends, of course.

That would be ridiculous.


	3. Chapter 3

The girl was now shown to her room, and Ciel went up to his study. He looked over paperwork, signed his name on some, but there was a thought lingering in his mind.

_Who exactly is Edith Michealis?_

Would he regret if she stayed in the manor? thinking again, Ciel laughed at that. As if a mere demon girl- little sister of his butler- could win this competition. He shook his head and went back to work.

But it wasn't until later he had heard a racket downstairs.

"E-E-EDITH-SAN!" Mey-rin's voice screamed. Soon, he heard whoops and yells of joy and... pure idiocy. Curious, Ciel walked outside, and what he saw made him speechless. He had discovered, that on his stairway, it had been used as a slide. and his king bed, a sled. Edith had used _his_ bed as a _sled_ to ride down the stairway. And _his _stairway used as a _slide._

"SEBASTIAN!"

Hearing the holler, said person rushed to his young master's side. "Yes, young master?" the demon asked.

"What. Is. She. Doing with. My staircase. And bed?" seethed Ciel. Confused, Sebastian looked down at the staircase, and an amused smile etched its' way across his lips. Edith had done it again. But Sebastian was sure Ciel wouldn't lose no matter what.

Down below, Edith was smiling cheekily at the two of them. How she managed to bring Ciels' bed to the staircase, Ciel didn't know. But she was a demon- related to his butler. "Ciel, why won't you try it?!" hollered Edith from below. She sat on Ciel's bed, of which had rolled down the staircase, and was a mess.

"No. Why would you think I'd do something so idiotic?" he spat.

"What? Scared of the big bad staircase? Wow, I never knew you were such a girl. Can't believe my own brother decided to have a contract with you."

"What did you say?!"

"You heard me." smirked Edith.

"And it's Earl Phantomhive. You have no right to call me so familiarly."

Edith rolled her eyes.

Ciel clenched his teeth. "Sebastian!"

"Yes, young master?"

"Get her out." Ciel said bitterly. Sebastian smiled. Ciel was annoyed. He wouldn't be angry if she used his bed as a sled and staircase as a slide, but the fact she called him a 'girl' and called his name so casually. He deserved respect, here!

Edith smiled a little. It worked. Now, Sebastian could go to the-

"But young master, if I get her out, you will lose." Sebastian says with a small smile. He knew that his master would change his mind when he said he was going to lose. Ciel clenched his teeth. He was right. While Edith thought, '_Screw you, Sebastian!'_

"Alright then," Ciel sighed, "She can... stay." Edith frowned. She thought she could have gotten away from the trouble of it all. But it was alright to her, really; it was only a matter of time before she won. Edith thought of this confidently, but she had no idea what she was in store for. Ciel Phantomhive didn't like to lose either.

If this was what Edith meant by one breaking and giving in, Ciel needed to push away thoughts of annoyance, and become more... calm.

Sebastian smiled at his little victory. Of course, Edith didn't know of his intentions. In actuality... he didn't even want to go. Even if that woman came back. He'd never forgive her for disappearing- leaving them as young demons to fend for themselves.

Just the thought of her was enough to recall memories. That woman was not his mother. Ever since her disappearance, she was always known to Sebastian as,

The demoness who gave birth to me. That's all she ever was. Sebastian had no feelings toward that woman. But he couldn't forgive her for what she did in the past, either. He was betting on his young master to win this little contest.

Even though it had been a millenium, he still couldn't shake memories of that woman. Just her name could spread fear like wildfire. She was a force to reckon with. Sebastian stared at his young master and sister, bickering. Edith had called his master a drag queen, referring to his master's blue attire that looked like a dress.

Edith couldn't know of what that woman did. She only had thoughts of her mother in optimism. But her thoughts of that woman was far from the truth. The sudden appearance of the demoness showed a sign- a sign that echoed trouble.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N : Hey guys... I know I said I was going to update chapter 4 sooner, but didn't update for a while... sorry. Abby and I are working on a few other things, and asides from that, we're both busy with school (WHY YOU TEACHERS GIVE US SO MUCH HOMEWORK?!) BUT we will continue this, and currently, we're working on the next chapter! **

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Watching the two bicker, Sebastian went to the kitchen without a word. To them, their argument was very heated, and it seemed the young master didn't want Sebastian to disturb the argument. But really, Sebastian saw it all as two children bickering over a simple subject.

Mey-rin, Finny, and Bard were trying to stop them. It was useless, of course. Neither side gave in.

"I'M NOT LISTENING TO SOME DRAG QUEEN!"

"I AM THE EARL PHANTOMHIVE! HOW DARE A MERE GIRL INSULT ME?!"

"MERE GIRL?! MERE GIRL?! I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, MISTER, I'M AS MUCH OF A WOMAN AS YOU ARE!"

"WOMAN?!"

Sebastian sighed. Now, dealing with one brat was hard enough. But two? Sebastian shook his head. He may have to step his game up a little. He prepared afternoon tea, Earl Gray, the master's favorite of course, with a few scones, and cake. He softly hummed, ignoring the sound of the servants' pleads, the two bickering and shouting, and all the chaos.

"I. AM. NOT. A DRAG QUEEN!"

"Oh? Then why are you wearing such a pretty blue dress?"

"IT'S A COAT!"

"E-E-EDITH-SAN! PLEASE REFRAIN FROM THIS!" Mey-rin pleaded.

"Please stop..." Finny sniffled. He was obviously affected by the negativity.

"NO!" Ciel and Edith yelled.

Sebastian could hear Finny cowering behind Mey-rin, afraid. Sebastian sighed. This is what happens when you put an arrogant brat (Ciel) and a stubborn brat (Edith) together.

Sebastian walked out the kitchen, towards the area of where the staircase was. Edith and Ciel were staring daggers at each other.

"Hmph. You're nothing like Sebastian. If not, inferior."

"At least I don't crossdress."

"Well... at least I'm not so short!"

"Wha-?! For your information, you're only 2 inches taller! TWO. INCHES."

"That still doesn't mean you're not short." Ciel retorted, looking away bored.

"Well-"

"That's enough Edith." Sebastian interrupted, picking her up by the back of her dress. "Young master, it is time for afternoon tea." Sebastian said, ignoring Edith's screams of protest. Ciel nodded. "SEBASTIAN! LET ME GO! This isn't over, you hear me?!" Edith yelled at Ciel. She started sticking her tongue out and making some quite insulting faces at the boy. A tick mark appeared on Ciel, as he made his way back up to his study, nearly stomping.

When the door slammed, Edith stopped, and smiled at her big brother cheekily. Sebastian sighed. "You're going a bit overboard this time, aren't you?" he asked. "Yep! If I plan on winning this, I'm going to have to be annoying too." she answered. Sebastian smiled inwardly. She was exactly like a child, the entire opposite of his young master.

"You can't possibly be planning on misbehaving around the young master every chance you get right?" Sebastian questioned. He was hoping the answer was no. It was a "Yes."

"Edith, if you misbehave at all times, I will personally throw you out, and so the contest will be annulled." Sebastian said sternly, throwing a death glare at Edith. Edith gulped. "O-Okay..." she said. She was planning on misbehaving half the time.

Sebastian dropped her, and she fell on the ground with a thud. "Ow..." Edith mumbled, getting up. "Mey-rin, please take her up to her room." Sebastian said. "H-Hai!" and Mey-rin went, bringing Edith back to her room.

"Bard, please prepare tonight's dinner. And no explosives."

"Y-Yes, Sebastian-san. but, who is Edith-san, and why is she here?"

"Yeah, she just appeared here out of nowhere!" Finny said, looking up at Sebastian with hopeful eyes. No doubt, the two of them wanted an answer. "I will tell you all about it later. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to bring the young master his afternoon tea." Sebastian said, leaving. He went back to the kitchen and rolled the cart containing the tea, scones, and cake.

Sebastian sighed for what felt like the millionth time. It had barely been a few hours since Edith came, and he already had a headache. Sebastian knocked on the door. "Young master?"

"Come in" the boy said. Wheeling in the cart, Sebastian said, "Today, afternoon tea consists of Earl Gray tea, with blueberry scones glazed with lemon, and finally, a slice of midnight layer cake." he presented, pouring the tea into a china cup. The aroma rose into the air, and Ciel took the cup to his lips, breathing in the scent.

Ciel was doing boring paperwork, but in the midst of it all, he was putting together a plan. The girl was a demon. Sebastian's sister. _Sebastian's sister._

If her brother was very talented and strong- she must be as talented and strong as her brother too. But from the few hours she was here, she seemed nothing like Sebastian. Ciel hadn't known Edith for long to know her weaknesses, the only flaw of her he knew of was that she was shorter than him. Of course, it was obvious that remark wouldn't be very effective. But if there was anything he knew about girls,

they hated vermin.

Ciel smirked. Sebastian took note of this, a little confused, but then he smiled. "Sebastian," Ciel said coolly, "Bring me cockroaches."

Sebastian blinked. "Pardon?"

"Bring me buckets of cockroaches by midnight." Ciel said, returning his attention to his work.

Sebastian smiled, and bowed. "Yes, my lord."

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**A/N : Well, we'll see what's in store next time~ Also, this little 'game' isn't all that predictable, too. If you don't like waiting for updates, you can check out Abby's other stories or mine. I recommend you read her story 'Switched' XD so hilarious! Well, until next time!**

**-Nell**


	5. Chapter 5

Yo! sorry for the long wait T_T but here's the 5th chapter, I hope you like it!

-Nell

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Everything was going as planned. Edith's bedroom was practically overflowing with cockroaches. There were so many of the foul creatures that Ciel himself had been put off and ordered Sebastian to put them in the bedroom. It wasn't that he was squeamish or anything; the sight of so many tiny creatures skittering around and tripping over each other just didn't appeal to him.

But Edith's reaction would be worth it.

He waited quite a while, expecting shrieks and screams and a slamming door. But the mansion was eerily silent. He had seen Edith go to her room, so what was taking so long? Surely she would've seen the cockroaches by now. Eventually impatience overtook Ciel, and he crept down the hallway to Edith's bedroom. He listened carefully for the slightest noise. Any moment now, he was sure.

And then he heard it. A small, barely audible giggle. Edith was...laughing? Ciel was too confused to be angry. Girls weren't supposed to like bugs, much less find them funny. But apparently Edith wasn't a normal girl. All he had managed to accomplish was humiliating himself.

Now he was frustrated. His brilliant plan had completely backfired on him. To his dismay, the bedroom door burst open, and Edith emerged. To his surprise, she was holding several of the disgusting creatures. And to his horror, she was moving towards him. "Look what I found!" she happily, taking another step closer. Ciel shook his head and in turn took a step back.

For a split second Edith looked puzzled, and then a sort of sadistic smirk settled onto her face. "You don't like bugs, Ciel?" she asked all too innocently. He searched desperately for words. "I...I like bloody bugs fine! Just not when they're in my face!" Edith, still smiling, came even closer.

Ciel lost all jurisdiction at this point. It had never really dawned on him that he might be afraid of bugs, but now it had become quite clear. "Stop it!" he ordered, scrambling backwards at a much quicker pace than before. Edith tilted her head slightly, as if thinking about it. "No," she sweetly replied, breaking into a full run with the cockroaches held at arms length.

He bolted. Flying down the stairs, tripping over the carpet, he made his way swiftly to the kitchen. That's where Sebastian was, and he was sure his butler would rescue him from Edith's torment. Little sister or not, Sebastian answered to him and him alone. So he dashed into the kitchen, immediately finding refuge behind the rather amused butler.

Edith entered shortly after, her expression changing in a flash from excited to disappointed. Sebastian was the one thing that could successfully prevent her from harming Ciel. "That's cheating," she whined, folding her arms and pouting. "I need a butler too!"

Glancing around the room, her eyes landed on Bard, who was standing quietly in the corner with his flamethrower.

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Now, I know some of you weren't expecting this, but hey, a twist every now and then is good, no? XD It seems like Edith's got the upper hand, but you guys should know by now I love surprises XP

thanks for reading!

-Nell


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